Celebrating Success
Last weekend, I went on hike with my husband and sons. We had completed the Bunny Loop and decided to go on to another trail since we had another hour.
We got to the next section of the trail and as the boys clambered ahead, the trail got steeper and steeper.
I got more and more tired and at a certain point, I remember looking at the trail in front of me and only seeing it extend up for what seemed like forever.
My heart was beating fast (which is good cardio, I kept reminding myself), my breath was heaving in and out of my chest like a refurbished steam engine, and my leg muscles were starting to shake. Mentally, I could feel my heart sink. I felt a wave of defeat wash over me and I distinctly heard a voice in my head say, “What are the options if you can’t make it?”
My husband looked at my flushed face and, in an attempt at humor, said, “This isn’t a place where I can say, wait here and I’ll go get the car. We’d have to get a helicopter.”
The helpless feelings I had in that moment stuck in my head and I recognized the same feelings from two weeks prior when I was trying to encourage myself to continue planning and writing my series. That toxic combination of feeling like a failure, doubting my decisions, and attempting to constantly plow through to my next big goal, or task, or thing, was leading me down a path of negativity.
Or maybe I should say making me climb a never-ending steep path of negativity.
My usual response to feeling this way is to write and this time was no different. As I journaled my emotions onto the page, I started wondering how I had gotten to this stage. Why was I blocked and feeling so utterly defeated?
And after reading a lot of different articles, I realized that despite all my various successes in a very hard year, I hadn’t really stopped and appreciated what I had done. I hadn’t celebrated my many successes, the least of them being the fact that I survived that hike.
I had this idea that I shouldn’t brag about what I’ve done, shouldn’t draw attention to myself. So I downplayed each and every new goal I reached or milestone that I hit. No parties. No celebrations. No cake.
I didn’t know that my attitude was causing me to lose steam, decrease my levels of motivation, devalue my passions, and deny the importance of my achievements.
What I now realize is that celebrating your accomplishments isn’t frivolous or a bid for attention. Celebrating your successes, whether they are large or small, allows you to review the project and how you succeeded, to commemorate the event and, in the process, view it more positively, and to show your appreciation and gratitude.
Reflect and Recognize
When I was climbing the trail from hell, I never once looked back at the way I had come. I just kept looking forward and thinking, “How long can this trail continue this way?”
If I had looked back, I would have seen the half mile of steep terrain I had just traversed. And instead of internally flogging myself for my physical weaknesses, I would have noticed how far I had actually travelled.
In the same token, with each milestone achieved, there is an opportunity to look back and actively think about what worked, what didn’t work, and what it took to arrive. [1] You don’t magically end up with novel; completed, edited, formatted and ready to go. There is no instant success.
Taking that time to reflect on the process and acknowledge the hard work and effort that went into your success helps you recognize the importance of your achievement.
Mindset and Motivate
As I stood on that trail contemplating where I had gone wrong, why I was such a weakling, how I would never go on another hike again, each negative thought spurred the next one on. The spiral would have continued if my husband hadn’t broken into my dismal thoughts with six little words.
“I know you can do it.”
Unfortunately “we get into the habit of keeping track of all the tasks we haven’t had the chance to get to.” [2] By validating the work that you put in and focusing on what you did well, your brain goes from focusing on what’s left on the list to a satisfied, happy mindset.
Looking back and acknowledging the hard work you had to do for each milestone — not just seeing it but celebrating it — switches your mindset from negative to positive.
With each new celebration, your brain will be accustomed to positively looking at your crossed-out to do list instead of the remaining tasks still left undone. Even better, you will be rejuvenated and motivated to tackle your next big project with energy and self-confidence. [3]
Each new accomplishment acknowledged and celebrated will encourage you to continue doing whatever it is you are doing, whether that is writing or climbing to the top of a trail meant for spry mountain goats and youth under the age of 20.
Share and Shine
When I reached the top of that trailhead and looked out over the view of the entire valley in front of me, my sons stood by me and complimented my persistence. I knew I still had to continue that path back to the parking lot but I realized that I am never alone in my struggle to succeed. And what I achieve, in one way or another, others do, too, just by their association.
In essence, celebrating isn’t just for you. When you celebrate, you are also shining a light on everyone who helped you. It adds an additional layer of gratitude for both parties.
And keep in mind that celebrating doesn’t have to be a “book a DJ and rent a hall” level party. It doesn’t even have to involve food. You simply have to share the experience of success, either personal or as part of a group.
Celebrating what you’ve completed is not a selfish bid for cake (although that is definitely a perk). Celebrating is a way to consider all the work you put into an accomplishment and to acknowledge and recognize that effort. It’s a way to focus on the things you’ve achieved in order to motivate you to move forward on your next goal, or task, or project. And it’s a way to share your successes and show your appreciation with everyone involved.
At the end of the trail, as we were driving home, I was proud of myself for completing the hike from hell without giving up and without complaining (too much). It’s a success that I appreciate all the more because it motivated me to do some soul-searching and write this post.
Originally published at https://www.odettecnassar.com on April 27, 2021.
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